i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
