i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
