The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
