Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
