He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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