Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
