haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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