i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
zippers are such a cool invention
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
