i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
