What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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