he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
