I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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