Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
