your parents love me but you hate me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's the barista slut.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
