It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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