Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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