You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize