mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
ugly people sure do ruin things
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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