i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
