i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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