Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
