dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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