I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
