I just made out with a guy for $7.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
