Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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