There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize