Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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