your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
