the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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