you would pick up someone in the library
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
