i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
