can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
