How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize