I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
