I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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