Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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