and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
its liver damage thursday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
