well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
