Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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