he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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