I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
