I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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