Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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