I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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