is your mom at the bar?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
