I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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