hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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