At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
