You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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