Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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