I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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