Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
