NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
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