he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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