We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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