are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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