I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
