I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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