there was a trapeze. enough said
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
