Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
