If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
