no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
