When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
