It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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