I'm going to jail i love you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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