doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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