I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
