woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.