I cockslap morals
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Come see our sink grown plant.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable