Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life