So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
