how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍