We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
