member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to make out with him forever
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
